Pussy Pirate Offensive

These pussy pirates just attacked the unarmed American-flagged Liberty Sun with rocket-propelled grenades and automatic weapons off the coast of Somalia, just days after the incident in which they got wrecked after trying to capture the Alabama (the first American-flagged ship attacked by pirates in 200 years).

Apparently these pirates, whose leaders apparently issued a statement that they would “avenge the deaths” of the three killed by U.S. sniper fire, are really pushing the limits here.

The pirates rode up on the Liberty and opened up with their weapons in an opening pre-boarding barrage; but boarding they were never able to do, thanks to the maneuvering of the Liberty Sun’s crew.

The USS Bainbridge, the U.S. destroyer that initially responded to the crisis involving the Alabama, was still carrying the rescued captain when she made contact with the Liberty Sun after this latest failed assault. After off-loading a unit of SEALS onto the Liberty Sun, the latter proceeded under Naval escort to their destination.

Since the captain of the Alabama was freed on Sunday, Somali pirates have captured four more vessels in an apparent offensive of muscle flexing, trying to prove they are undaunted by Obama’s call to take steps toward ending, or at least stemming, the amount of pirate-related activity in the region.

And the pirates say they will not be intimidated – thus this sudden surge in activity, directly after the stand-off involving the captain of the Alabama, I see as a potential sign of weakness, rather than strength.

It has been a commonly held notion that these brigands, at the core,  are nothing more than businessmen (albeit thieving thugs) – they capture vessels (brandishing weapons and firing into the air), and hold the crew and ship hostage until they are paid.

As the Associated Press wrote:

“So far, Somali pirates have never harmed captive foreign crews except for a Taiwanese crew member who was killed under unclear circumstances. In fact, many former hostages say they were treated well and given sumptuous food.”

Ok, then why are the Somali pirating warlords turning this into a war against international forces?

They claim the whole reason they began pirating was because other nations would fish illegally in Somali waters, while others would dump toxic waste off their coast. In response, the Somalis began seizing such ships, and soon realized they stumbled into a lucrative business.

Ok, back to the matter at hand:

It has been said the issue of brigandry on the open seas is a direct reflection of conditions in Somalia.

Things are shitty in Somalia; controlled by rival warlords, including a fundamentalist Islamic militia, Al-Shabaab, which has links to al Qaida.

The U.S. already has branches of the CIA operating in the area, and at least one reported airstrike has been carried out against a suspected training camp linked to al-Qaida, in 2007.

If we landed Marines onto these coastal pirate-village strongholds in Somalia, would the pirates even fight? Or would they simply hide their weapons and slip into the population?

That’s where the CIA comes in…Maybe some psych-ops?

We could always pull a Tony Poe and blanket the pirate stronghold villages in the decapitated heads of white people.

It would have to be white people; if the heads were of their own ethnicity, it would incite rage and revenge, but to drop white heads on their villages, and I’m talking thousands and thousands, from the air, would terrify them.

But where would we get these heads?

Perhaps a more logistically sound operation would be to pile up the guts and entrails from American-based slaughter houses, and I’m talking like 20-tons of the stuff, and blanket the strongholds with that.

If we had a greater breadth of intelligence gathering resources in the coastal areas of Somalia, we could initiate a target killing campaign, via airstrike, against the leaders of these pirating rings.

Another alternative that has been floated in American media is to devote a large contingent of American and international warships to completely blockade Somalia, while simultaneously rooting through their shipping and destroying the “mother ships” used as jumping off points for the smaller pirate skiffs in the open seas. Again, the CIA would have to be heavily involved to pinpoint land-based targets, epicenters of operation.

I don’t know – Somalia is a piece of shit with no government, and I sure as shit don’t want to see American forces get entangled in that bullshit, especially after what went down in the ’90s.

We’ll see.

juice

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3 Responses to “Pussy Pirate Offensive”

  1. adventuresinventions Says:

    I watched this video, look most of them are african american, times have changed 🙂

    http://www.itskylineblog.com/2009/04/2009-people-magazine-100-most-beautiful.html

    And thanks for the copyrights idea. (For my new poetry site)

  2. juiceempire Says:

    Ha; I’m not sure what you mean.

    This pirating incident isn’t necessarily a war.

    And I assume “It’s all about the pussy,” is just jest.

    juice

  3. Frank Wood Says:

    Juice:

    Like your stuff and agree with many of your ponts. I’ve added you to my blogroll per your request.

    Just got back from a cruise. We didn’t get attacked by pirates. However, we were diverted by the treat of swine flu – go figure…

    Keep up the good work!
    Drink one for me,
    Woody

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